Pesan Pemimpin Besar Revolusi Islam untuk Hujjaj Baitullah Pada Musim Haji 1434 H

بسم الله الرحمن الرحیم و الحمد لله رب العالمین و الصلاة و السلام علی سید الأنبیاء و المرسلین و علی آله الطیبین و صحبه المنتجبین

Tibanya musim haji harus dipandang sebagai hari besar bagi umat Islam. Kesempatan emas yang ada pada hari-hari yang sangat berharga ini setiap tahunnya adalah sarana menakjubkan bagi umat Islam yang jika dikenal dengan baik dan dimafaatkan dengan semestinya akan mampu mengatasi banyak masalah yang ada di Dunia Islam.
Haji adalah mata air anugerah Ilahi yang memancar. Masing-masing dari Anda semua, para hujjaj yang berbahagia, saat ini memperoleh keberuntungan yang besar untuk membersihkan hati dan jiwa sebaik mungkin dengan amalan-amalan dan manasik yang penuh kesucian dan maknawiyah. Raihlah bekal untuk seluruh kehidupan Anda dari sumber rahmat, kemuliaan dan kekuatan ini. Di medan pendidikan dan pelatihan Ilahi ini kalian bisa mempelajari kekhusyukan dan penyerahan diri di hadapan Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih; kepeduliaan untuk melaksanakan kewajiban yang dipikulkan di pundak seorang Muslim; semangat, gerak dan tindakan dalam melakukan pekerjaan untuk agama dan dunia; kasih sayang dan sifat memaafkan dalam pergaulan dengan saudara; keberanian dan percaya diri menghadapi peristiwa-peristiwa yang sulit; harapan kepada bantuan dan inayah Allah di semua tempat dan dalam segala hal; dan singkatnya Anda bisa belajar untuk menjadi insan Muslim yang sejati. Lalu, kalian akan pulang membawa oleh-oleh diri yang terhiasi dengan semua hiasan itu dan membawa kekayaan spiritual haji untuk negara serta bangsa kalian dan akhirnya untuk umat Islam.
Hari ini, umat Islam sangat memerlukan keberadaan manusia-manusia yang bisa menggandengkan pemikiran dan tindakan seiring dengan keimanan, kemurnian hati dan keikhlasan, dan yang mampu memadukan perlawanan terhadap musuh-musuh yang pendendam dengan penempaan diri, spiritualitas dan keruhanian. Inilah satu-satunya jalan keselamatan bagi masyarakat besar Muslim dari segala musibah dan derita yang dialaminya sejak zaman dahulu, baik yang secara jelas dilakukan oleh musuh maupun yang terjadi karena lemahnya tekad, iman dan kearifan.
Tak diragukan bahwa era saat ini adalah era kebangkitan dan penemuan jatidiri umat Islam. Hakikat ini dapat disaksikan dengan jelas melalui tantangan-tantangan yang tengah dihadapi oleh negara-negara Islam. Tepat dalam kondisi seperti ini, tekad dan kemauan yang bersandarkan pada keimanan, tawakkal, kearifan dan kebijaksanaan bisa menghantarkan bangsa-bangsa Muslim kepada kemenangan dalam menghadapi berbagai tantangan yang ada dan membawanya kepada kemuliaan, sehingga kehidupan mereka akan diwarnai dengan harga diri dan kehormatan. Kubu di depan sana yang tak kuasa menyaksikan kebangkitan dan kehormatan umat Islam telah terjun ke tengah medan dengan segenap kekuatannya. Kubu itu mengerahkan seluruh sarana dan fasilitas keamanan, urat saraf, militer, ekonomi dan corong media untuk membuat umat Islam pasif, untuk menumpas mereka dan membuat mereka sibuk dengan diri mereka sendiri. Dengan mencermati kondisi negara-negara Asia Barat mulai dari Pakistan dan Afghanistan hingga Suriah, Irak, Palestina dan negara-negara kawasan Teluk Persia juga negara-negara di utara Afrika dari Libya, Mesir dan Tunisia sampai Sudan dan sejumlah negara lainnya akan terkuak banyak fakta yang sebenarnya. Perang saudara; fanatisme buta bernuansa agama dan madzhab; instabilitas politik; merebaknya terorisme yang keji; munculnya kelompok-kelompok dan aliran-aliran ekstrim yang bertindak layaknya suku-suku yang kebuasannya terekam dalam sejarah saat dengan mudah membelah dada manusia dan mencabik-cabik hatinya; kelompok-kelompok bersenjata yang membantai anak-anak dan perempuan, memenggal kepala para pria dan dan menodai kehormatan; bahkan dalam sejumlah kasus mereka melakukan kejahatan-kejahatan yang memalukan dan menjijikkan itu dengan nama dan dengan mengusung bendera agama; semua itu adalah produk konspirasi setan yang dibuat oleh kubu arogansi, dinas-dinas keamanan asing, dan antek-antek rezim pemerintahan yang menjadi kaki tangan mereka di kawasan ini. Kondisi dalam negeri sejumlah negara membuat konspirasi itu berpotensi untuk terjadi, menenggelamkan bangsa-bangsa ini ke dalam kekelaman dan menuangkan kegetiran pada kehidupan mereka. Dalam situasi dan kondisi seperti ini bisa dipastikan bahwa negara-negara Muslim tidak bisa diharapkan mampu mengisi kekosongan material dan spiritual mereka dan tak akan mampu mencapai kemakmuran, kemajuan sains dan wibawa internasional yang mestinya diperoleh berkat kebangkitan dan penemuan jatidiri. Kondisi yang memprihatinkan ini bisa membuat mandul kebangkitan Islam, meredupkan kesiapan mental yang sudah muncul di tengah Dunia Islam, menyeret bangsa-bangsa Muslim kembali kepada stagnansi, keterasingan dan dekandensi untuk masa yang lama, dan membuat isu-isu utama dan urgen bagi mereka seperti penyelamatan Palestina dan pembebasan bangsa-bangsa Muslim dari cengkeraman Amerika Serikat (AS) dan zionisme terlupakan.
Penanganan secara mendasar bagi semua itu bisa diringkas dalam dua kalimat kunci yang keduanya merupakan pelajaran paling menonjol dari haji, yaitu: Pertama, persatuan dan persaudaraan umat Islam di bawah panji tauhid. Dan kedua, mengenal musuh dan melawan konspirasi-konspirasi serta modus-modus yang digunakannya.
Memperkuat spirit persaudaraan dan solidaritas adalah pelajaran besar yang didapat dari haji. Di sini, bahkan dilarang berdebat dan berbantah-bantahan dengan orang lain. Pakaian yang sama, amalan yang sama, gerakan yang sama dan perilaku yang ramah di sini berarti kesamaan dan persaudaraan semua orang yang meyakini dan mencintai poros tauhid ini. Inilah jawaban Islam yang jelas kepada pemikiran, keyakinan dan ajakan yang menganggap sekelompok dari umat Islam yang meyakini Ka’bah dan tauhid berada di luar Islam. Anasir takfiri yang sekarang ini dipermainkan oleh kebijakan zionisme yang licik dan para pelindungnya di Barat, kelompok yang melakukan berbagai macam kejahatan besar, menumpahkan darah umat Islam dan orang-orang yang tak berdosa, juga mereka yang mengaku beragama dan mengenakan pakaian ulama namun terus menerus meniupkan api perselisihan Syiah, Sunni dan lainnya, mereka semua harus menyadari bahwa pelaksanaan manasik haji membuktikan kebatilan apa yang mereka klaim. Sungguh mengherankan, mereka yang menganggap ritual berlepas tangan (bara’ah) dari musyrikin sebagai perdebatan yang dilarang -padahal ritual ini berakar pada amalan yang dilakukan Nabi Besar Saw-, tapi justeru merekalah orang-orang yang sangat berperan dalam menciptakan konflik berdarah di tengah umat Islam.
Saya, seperti juga banyak ulama Islam yang lain dan mereka yang punya kepedulian kepada umat Islam, kembali mengumumkan bahwa setiap ucapan dan tindakan yang bisa mengobarkan api perselisihan di tengah umat Islam, demikian juga pelecehan terhadap apa yang dianggap sakral oleh setiap kelompok Muslim atau aksi pengkafiran salah satu madzhab Islam, semua itu adalah perbuatan yang melayani kubu kekafiran dan syirik, dan pengkhianatan terhadap Islam yang diharamkan dalam syariat.
Mengenal musuh dan modus-modusnya adalah pondasi kedua. Pertama, keberadaan musuh-yang menyimpan dendam jangan sampai dilalaikan dan dilupakan. Ritual melempar jumrah yang dilakukan beberapa kali dalam manasik haji adalah ritual simbolik untuk menunjukkan kesiagaan selalu. Kedua, jangan sampai salah dalam mengenal musuh utama yang hari ini adalah kubu arogansi dunia dan jaringan zionisme durjana. Ketiga, modus-modus yang digunakan oleh musuh untuk menciptakan perpecahan di tengah umat Islam, menyebarkan kebejatan politik dan akhlak, ancaman dan bujukan terhadap kalangan elit, tekanan ekonomi terhadap bangsa-bangsa, menciptakan keragu-raguan terhadap keyakinan-keyakinan yang ada dalam Islam harus dianalisa dengan baik. Seiring dengan itu, orang-orang yang secara sadar atau tidak menjadi kaki tangan mereka juga harus dikenali dengan cara ini.
Negara-negara arogansi terutama AS dengan memanfaatkan sarana-sarana media massa yang luas dan canggih sengaja menutupi wajah mereka yang sebenarnya. Dengan mengklaim diri sebagai pihak yang membela hak asasi manusia dan demokrasi mereka melakukan tindakan penipuan opini umum bangsa-bangsa di dunia. Di saat mereka mengaku membela hak bangsa-bangsa di dunia, dengan jiwa dan raga bangsa-bangsa Muslim hari demi hari semakin merasakan percikan api fitnah yang mereka kobarkan. Dengan pandangan sekilas terhadap bangsa Palestina yang tertindas yang setiap hari selama puluhan tahun menjadi korban kebiadaban rezim Zionis Israel dan para pembelanya; pandangan sekilas tehadap negara-negara seperti Afghanistan, Pakistan dan Irak yang kehidupan rakyatnya terasa getir akibat terorisme yang lahir dari rahim kebijakan kubu arogansi dan kaki tangannya di kawasan; pandangan sekilas terhadap Suriah yang menjadi bulan-bulanan aksi dendam kubu hegemoni internasional dan antek-anteknya di kawasan dan kini tenggalam dalam perang saudara yang berdarah-darah hanya karena negara itu membela muqawamah dan perlawanan terhadap zionisme; pandangan sekilas terhadap Bahrain atau Myanmar yang masing-masing dalam bentuknya tersendiri saat orang-orang Muslim yang menderita di sana terlupakan sementara musuh-musuh mereka dilindungi; pandangan sekilas terhadap bangsa-bangsa lain yang bertubi-tubi menjadi sasaran ancaman agresi militer, embargo ekonomi atau aksi pengacauan keamanan oleh AS dan sekutu-sekutunya, semua itu menunjukkan kepada semua orang wajah para pemimpin sistem hegemoni yang sebenarnya.
Kalangan elit politik, budaya dan agama di seluruh wilayah di Dunia Islam harus merasa berkewajiban untuk membongkar fakta-fakta ini. Ini adalah kewajiban normatif dan agama bagi kita semua. Negara-negara di utara Afrika yang, sayangnya, saat ini terancam konflik internal yang mendalam punya kewajiban yang lebih besar untuk peduli akan tanggung jawab besar ini, yaitu mengenal musuh beserta modus dan taktik-taktiknya. Berlanjutnya konflik di antara kelompok-kelompok kebangsaan dan kelalaian akan ancaman perang saudara di negara-negara ini adalah bahaya besar yang kerugiannya bagi umat Islam tidak bisa diatasi dalam masa yang singkat.
Tentunya, kita tidak meragukan bahwa bangsa-bangsa yang sudah bangkit di kawasan yang telah melahirkan kebangkitan Islam, dengan izin Allah tak akan membiarkan jarum sejarah berputar balik ke masa lalu dan era kekuasaan para pemimpin yang bejat, dependen dan diktator kembali terulang. Akan tetapi kelalaian akan konspirasi kekuatan-kekuatan arogansi dalam menebar fitnah dan melakukan intervensi yang destruktif akan menyulitkan mereka dan akan menunda lahirnya era kemuliaan, keamanan dan kemakmuran sampai beberapa tahun kemudian. Dari lubuk hati yang dalam kami percaya akan kemampuan rakyat dan kekuatan tekad, keimanan dan kearifan rakyat yang telah diberikan oleh Allah, Tuhan Yang Maha Bijaksana. Kenyataan inilah yang kami saksikan dengan mata kepala sendiri dan telah kami rasakan selama tiga dekade di Republik Islam Iran. Tekad kami adalah mengajak bangsa-bangsa Muslim untuk meneladani pengalaman saudara-saudara mereka di negara yang berwibawa dan tak mengenal kata lelah ini.
Kepada Allah Swt saya memohon kebaikan untuk kondisi umat Islam dan tertolaknya tipu daya musuh. Kepada Allah saya memohon terkabulnya haji, kesehatan fisik dan jiwa serta kekayaan besar spiritual untuk Anda semua, para hujjaj Baitullah.
Wassalamu’alaikum wa rahmatullah Sayyid Ali Khamenei
5 Dzul Hijjah 1434 H/ 19 Mehr 1392 HS (11 Oktober 2013)

Menghina Sahabat Nabi Bertentangan dengan Ajaran Ahlul Bait as

Ayatullah al Uzhma Sayyid Ali Sistani ulama marja taklid Syiah kembali merilis fatwa yang menyatakan penghinaan dan pelecehan terhadap sahabat-sahabat Nabi Saw adalah haram hukumnya dan menyelisihi jalan Ahlul Bait as. “Aksi tersebut harus dikecam keras, sebab bertentangan dengan apa yang telah digariskan para Aimmah as untuk para Syiahnya.” Tegas beliau.

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Menurut Kantor Berita ABNA, menyikapi aksi bom bunuh diri anasir kelompok Wahabi yang merenggut sejumlah nyawa peziarah dari warga Syiah yang sedang dalam perjalanan menuju Kadzimain dalam rangka memperingati kesyahidan Imam Jawad as beberapa hari sebelumnya, sejumlah pemuda yang mengklaim diri Syiah melakukan kecaman dan protes keras. Dengan mengendarai mobil yang dilengkapi pembesar suara di kota ‘Azamiyah yang mayoritas warganya adalah pengikut Ahlus Sunnah, demonstran tersebut mengecam aksi biadab dan pengecut tersebut sembari menghina dan melecehkan beberapa sahabat dan Aisyah istri Nabi.

Video aksi kontroversial tersebut dengan begitu cepat beredar di laman jaringan sosial seperti Facebook dan Twiter serta dipublish melalui Youtube, dan menjadi pembicaraan hangat banyak kalangan. Dengan tersebarnya aksi penghinaan tersebut, sejumlah warga Sunni dari enam provinsi di kawasan utara Irak melakukan aksi unjuk rasa balasan, dengan mengutuk warga Syiah yang mengecam dan melakukan penghinaan terhadap sahabat dan tokoh-tokoh yang diagungkan kaum Sunni.

Muhammad Thaha al Mahdun salah seorang pejabat Irak mengatakan, “Dengan adanya aksi unjuk rasa serentak di enam provinsi Al Anbar, Shalahuddin, Kurkuk, Ninui, Diyali dan Baghdad menyebabkan kantor-kantor pemerintahan dan sekolah harus diliburkan kecuali pihak keamanan dan kepolisian serta rumah sakit.”

Ke enam provinsi yang melakukan aksi unjuk rasa tersebut, pada tahun sebelumnya adalah yang juga melakukan demonstrasi besar-besaran menentang pemerintahan Nuri Maliki.

Menghindari terjadinya perpecahan yang bertentangan dengan upaya keras ulama-ulama Sunni dan Syiah di Irak yang bertekad menciptakan persatuan nasional rakyat Irak, Ayatullah al Uzhma Sayyid Ali Sistani ulama marja taklid Syiah kembali merilis fatwa yang menyatakan penghinaan dan pelecehan terhadap sahabat-sahabat Nabi Saw adalah haram hukumnya dan menyelisihi jalan Ahlul Bait as. “Aksi tersebut harus dikecam keras, sebab bertentangan dengan apa yang telah digariskan para Aimmah as untuk para Syiahnya.” Tegas beliau.

Hujjatul Islam Sayyid Muqtada Sadr juga menyerukan hal serupa dengan mengatakan, “Perbedaan yang terjadi dikalangan para ulama sepanjang sejarah adalah perbedaan yang masih dalam koridor dan batasan aturan-aturan Islam, dan bukan perbedaan yang dicetuskan dengan cara yang serampangan dari orang-orang yang tidak berilmu dan rusak akhlaknya.”

Dalam wawancara televisi yang disiarkan stasiuan Al Baghdadiyah, Sayyid Muqtada Sadr berkata, “Saya yakin, mereka yang melakukan aksi penghinaan tersebut adalah orang-orang yang tidak mengerti dengan apa yang mereka katakan, melainkan sekedar mengambil uang dan keuntungan dari orang-orang yang mengupah mereka, yang tujuannya menyulut perselisihan dan peperangan di tengah-tengah masyarakat.”

“Mereka yang melakukan itu adalah sekumpulan orang-orang jahil yang tidak punya hak menisbatkan dirinya sebagai Syiah Ahlul Bait as. Sebagaimana para pelaku kekerasan dan teror dengan melakukan pengeboman di tempat-tempat umum yang menewaskan banyak warga sipil, apa yang mereka lakukan itu tidak layak mengatasnamakan diri sebagai bagian dari Sunni atau bahkan umat Islam.” Tegasnya.

Dari pihak pemerintah Irak, Kantor Resmi Perdana Menteri mengeluarkan pernyataan mengutuk keras peledakan bom terhadap para peziarah Syiah dan juga mengecam keras aksi penghinaan kepada tokoh-tokoh besar dalam sejarah Islam. Dalam pernyataan tersebut juga disebutkan bahwa aksi-aksi kekerasan dan penghinaan adalah upaya untuk merusak ketentraman warga dan menyulut perselisihan. Pemerintah Irak berharap ulama Syiah dan Sunni tidak terpengaruh dan mengeluarkan pernyataan-pernyataan yang akan menambah parah situasi.

 

10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person

 

There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage.

There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage.  The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility.  One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone.  A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are.  The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them.  The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc.  Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these  limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place?  Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences.  If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase,  the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

1) Do Not Marry Potential:  Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change.  This is the wrong approach on both accounts.  Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential.  There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them.  These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.

2) Choose Character over Chemistry:  While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love.  The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:

• Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort.  They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
• Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money?  How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
• Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character.  You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
• Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have.  They very rarely complain.

3) Do Not Neglect The  Emotional Needs of Your Partner:  Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved.  The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated.  To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs:  Attention, Affection, & Appreciation.  To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs:  Respect, Reassurance, & Relief.  It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive.  When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans:  In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.

• You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about?  Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
• The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
• Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.

5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:

• Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
• Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.
• Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.

6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection:  There are four questions that you must answer YES to:

• Do I respect and admire this person?  What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
• Do I trust this person?  Can I rely on them?  Do I trust their judgment?  Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
• Do I feel Safe?  Do I feel emotionally safe with this person?  Can I be vulnerable?  Can I be myself?  Can I be open?  Can I express myself?
• Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?

If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married.  If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage.  Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage.  When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions.  Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship.  If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship.  Look for the following things:

• Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time.  Know the difference between suggestions and demands.  Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.

• Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc.  You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment.  Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds.  If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away.  Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.

Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner:  Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?”  It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team.  When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team.  Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds.  How do they handle it?  Are they defensive?  Do they attack?  Do they withdraw?  Do they get annoyed?  Do they blame you?  Do they ignore it?  Do they hide or rationalize it?  Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married.  People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married.  If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage.  Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner:  Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster.  Also important to consider are the following:

• Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside.  These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts.  They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them.  Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t.  They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them.  These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
• Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship.  Never marry an addict.  Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol.  They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc.  When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!

Additional Points to Consider:

1. The fact is no one looks 25 forever.  Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance.  When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
2. Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc.  We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”
3. Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc.  Asking clear questions can clarify this.  Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?”  “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.
4. Be flexible.  Be open-minded!
5. Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom.  It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
6. Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health.  The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship.  If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss.  Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage.  Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well.  Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage.

————

by Dr. Nafisa Sekandari & Hosai Mojaddidi

The above article was [in part] inspired by and adapted from a presentation by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A

Repentance (Tawba) – The path to salvation

 

‘Tawba’ or repentance is a part of the all compassing mercies of the Most Merciful Lord. It is one of the avenues of His unbounded indulgence that He has kept always open for His slaves. Had it been closed, no one would have ever attained salvation, such is human inclination towards evil.

The Kind and Wise Lord therefore ordained Tawba(repentance) to be a cure for diseases of the soul and a means of purifying indecent deeds, whereby Tawba can wash away man’s sins so that he can obtain eternal salvation.

Indeed, fortunate is one who appreciates the value of this gate of Divine Mercy, benefits from it and becomes Allah (S.w.T.)’s most beloved slave, and is thankful to Allah (S.w.T.) for His limitless bounties; and highly unfortunate is the one who remains deprived of Divine Mercy even though the paths leading to it are open to him.

On the Day of Judgement (Qiyāma) man will find excuses and say: O My Lord! I was unaware and ignorant; was chained by passions and desires and hence could not remain steadfast in the face of satanic instigations. In reply to these excuses he will be told: Did We not keep the doors of Tawba(repentance) always open for you? Were you entrusted highly difficult tasks and ordered to perform a duty beyond your power? Were the conditions of Tawba beyond your ability?

Reality of Tawba

The Holy Prophet (S) said,

“To be ashamed of one’s sins is Tawba.”

Imam Baqir (a.s.) says,

“Repenting on one’s deed is enough Tawba.” (al-Kāfi)

Imam Ja’far Sadiq (a.s.) said,

“There is no man who Allah did not forgive who had felt ashamed of his misdeed. Whenever a man feels ashamed of his fault and then begs pardon of Allah He forgives all of his sins.”

Repenting over ones sins with heartfelt remorse is Tawba. Man should understand that Allah (S.w.T.) will be displeased with him if he commits a sin and he should not forget that his Lord is able to see whatever he does. It is like a man who, despite being warned by friends, invests all of his wealth in a bargain and consequently loses everything and becomes bankrupt and then repents. It is also like a sick person who eats something that a doctor had prohibited and, as a result becomes serious. He then gets nothing but disgrace.

 

Perfect Repentance

It is narrated that someone said: Astaghfirullah (I seek God’s forgiveness) before Imam ‘Ali (a). He said to him. “May your mother mourn for you! Do you know what istighfar is? Verily istighfar is a degree of the ‘illiyyun (people of high station) and it is a word that means six things.

First is remorse over the past.

Second, the resolution not to return to it ever.

Third, to return to creatures their (formerly usurped) rights so that you meet God Almighty in a state of purity in which no one has any claim against you.

Fourth, that you fulfil every duty that you neglected in order to satisfy your obligation in respect to it.

Fifth, that you attend to the flesh of your body that has grown on unlawful nourishment so that it melts away as a result of grief and mourning and your skin adheres to your bones, after which new flesh grows in its place.

Sixth, that you make your body taste the pain of obedience in the same way as it earlier tasted the pleasure of sins. When you have done these things then say Astaghfirullah!

All religious scholars have agreed that Tawba is obligatory for all sins. Muhaqqiq Tusi (r.a.) writes in his Tajrīd al-Kalām and Allamah Hilli (a.r.) writes in its commentary that Tawba is the means of making up for spiritual losses suffered, and wisdom therefore dictates that Tawba is compulsory.

Allah Almighty says in Surah Nūr’s verse 31:

“And turn to Allah all of you, O believers! so that you may be successful.”

He also says in Surah Tahrīm (Ayat:8):

“O you who believe! Turn to Allah a (Tawba of Nasūh) sincere turning; maybe your Lord will remove from you your evil and cause you to enter gardens beneath which rivers flow.” 

What is Tawba of Nasūh?

Allamah Majlisi, in Sharhe Kāfi, quotes the commentators about meaning of Tawbatan Nasūh:

1.         To repent purely and piously in the presence of the Lord. Repentance should not merely be due to a desire of Paradise and fear of Hell, it should be due to a feeling of shame and remorse for not obeying Allah’s commands. Tusi (r.a.) writes in Tajrīd al-Kalam. “It is not Tawba to worry about sins for fear of Hell.”

2.         The Tawba should be such that it may serve as a lesson even to others. A person should repent with such sincerity and such persistence that by observing his repentance other sinners may also be inclined towards Tawba. In this way he also becomes a means of guidance for others.

3.         Nasīhat (admonition) or advice is like sewing. So the clothing of religion which was torn into pieces because of sins can be stitched by the threads of Tawba. Such repentant people are also called Awliyaullah (Friends of Allah).

4.         He should give Nasīhat (admonition) to himself so thoroughly and honestly and perform such a Tawba that all soot of sins may vanish from the walls of his heart. His worship should be so intense that the radiance of Faith removes the darkness of sins totally. He must be so involved in performing good deeds that his bad deeds are fully compensated for.

A great religious scholar says: It is not enough to doTawba, which would effect only a superficial cleansing of the soul. His worship to Allah (S.w.T.) should be to such an extent and his obedience to Allah (S.w.T.) is implicit, such that his sins are totally obliterated, and his heart and soul is purified with a thorough cleansing. The more his worship the purer will be his heart. A repentant must necessarily look at his past so that each and every sin can be repented for. For instance, if he had enjoyed nonsense songs and maddening music in a dance party he should now pay more and more attention to the recitation of Qur’an, Hadith, religious discourses, sermons etc.

Merit of Tawba

1. It makes man a beloved of God

2. Evils are turned into good deeds

3. Praiseworthy Prayer of Angels

4. The repentant will go to Paradise

5. Tawba gives happiness in life

6. Prayer are accepted by Tawba

7. Tawba Brings good tidings from God

8. Any number of sins will be pardoned through Tawba

9. Breakingof Tawba does not nullify repentance

10. The Door of Tawba is open forever

(Follow the source link at the end of the article for more information on each merit)

 

Repentance should be Instant

Shaykh Bahai writes in Arbaīn: There is no doubt aboutTawba being compulsory because, just as poison destroys man’s body so do sins (destroy his soul). After consuming poison it becomes essential for one to go immediately for treatment to save ones life. Likewise it is compulsory for a sinner to resort to Tawba immediately after sinning so that his Dīn (religion) may not be destroyed. The sinner who delays repentance takes a very big risk. The first risk is that if he continues to remain alive he may indulge in another sin (because a sincere Tawba implies that he has made a firm resolution not to commit that sin again). The second danger is that if death takes him suddenly he will die unrepentant.

Allah (S.w.T.) says:

What! do the people of the towns then feel secure from Our punishment coming to them by night while they sleep? What! do the people of the towns feel secure from Our punishment coming to them in the morning while they play? What! do they then feel secure from Allah’s plan? But none feels secure from Allah’s plan except the people who shall perish.

(Surah Al-A’raaf 7:97-99)

Elsewehere He says:

And spend out of what We have given you before death comes to one of you, so that he should say: My Lord! Why didst Thy not respite me to a near term, so that I should have given alms and been of the doors of good deeds. And Allah does not respite a soul when its appointed term has come, and Allah is Aware of what you do.

(Surah Munāfiqun 63:10-11) 

In the explanation of this verse it is said that a man, at the time of his death, tells the angel of death: Please give me just one day’s respite so that I may repent for my sins and be prepared for the journey to the Hereafter. Izrāīl says: The days of your life are now over. The person says: Just give me only an hour’s respite. Comes the reply: Even the moments of your life are over. The door of Tawba is now closed for you.

 

Black heart

When a person sins and does not do Tawba, his heart darkens (polluted) as he commits more and more sins the dirt accumulates on his heart. It then becomes a vicious circle, the darkening of the heart leads to further sins, and the sins lead to further darkening of the heart. A stage is finally reached when his heart is irreversibly polluted and cannot be cleansed. Such a heart is referred to in narrations as a black heart.

Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) says,

For human hearts nothing is more harmful than a sin. When the mirror of heart becomes black because of sins the blackness covers the entire soul. Then man tumbles down from his original position and gets separated from truth.

According to another tradition he also said,

“Such a sinner will not be able to do any good.”

Such a man will not give up sins and hence the wisdom of doing good will be snatched away from him and he will not be able to perform Tawba till his last moment. If he will utterTawba from his mouth it will remain limited to his lips. His heart will not support his tongue. As it is not a true Tawba it will not prove effective.

An enlightening story: Wine changed into Vinegar

Sabzewari writes in his book Misbahul Qulūb that when the order prohibiting wine-drinking was revealed a caller was sent by the Messenger of Allah (S) who announced that henceforth no one shall consume liquor. By chance, one day the Holy Prophet (S) was passing through a bylane when a Muslim man also entered it carrying a bottle of wine in his hand. He was terrified on seeing the Holy Prophet (S) and he said ferverently to the Almighty Allah, “I repent for this and I shall never drink again. Please save me from disgrace.”

When the Messenger of Allah (S) came near he asked,“What is there in the bottle?”

“It contains Vinegar,” replied the man. The Holy Prophet (S) put forward his hand and asked the man to put a little bit on his palm. When the Prophet (S) examined it, it was indeed vinegar. The person was overwhelmed with emotions and he began to weep and say, “By Allah! It was wine!”

“But before this I had repented and begged Allah not to disgrace me,” He added.

The Messenger of Allah (S) said that it was true, “Allah changes the sins of repenters into good deeds. “They are the ones whose sins are changed into good deeds by Allah.”

***

A couplet:

“No repentant sinner comes to Our door,

Whose sins are not washed away in the flood of his regret.”

 Source: Excerpt taken from ‘Greater Sins‘  by Ayatullah Abdul Husayn Dastaghaib Shirazi

The Message of the Prophet (PBUH) for Today’s Girls

 

Is the message of the Prophet exclusive to men? Are women the addressees of the Prophet (PBUH) too?

Before continuing it would be helpful to recap one of the main points which was discussed last week: The Message of the Prophet (PBUH) for Today’s Girls (part 1)

The woman is as able to reach perfection as a man is, and the Holy Qur’an, wherever discussing high human values, mentions women as equal to men, meaning that women can reach a high spiritual and human status just as men. Faith, obedience, honesty, patience, fear of Allah, fasting, self-control, and remembrance of Allah are achievable for every woman. And obviously, her virtuous deeds, just like a man’s, have worldly and after-worldly effects. “Whoever acts righteously, [whether] male or female, should he be faithful, We shall revive him with a good life and pay them their reward by the best of what they used to do.”‌ [Surah Al-Nahl, verse: 97].

With this summary, we can continue discussing “The message of the Prophet for Muslim girls”‌ in the points below:

Safeguard unobtrusiveness

“Does he not know that Allah sees?” (Surat Al-`Alaq: 14)

To safeguard ones unobtrusiveness is the source of every beauty.  As for the absence of unobtrusiveness, it could result in something other than beautiful deed to take place and thus no immoral deed avoided. Therefore the act of being unobtrusive will help that individual reach that level of modesty and chastity, which will result in the avoidance of immoral deeds.

A tradition from The Prophet of Allah (PBUH) where he states: “Be careful today for Allah is aware of all of your deeds.”‌

Choose the correct clothing

The Prophet of Islam has stressed the importance of women’s clothing and prohibited unlawful exhibition. And the Holy Qur’an – while advising men to avoid staring at women and to wear appropriate clothes in front of them (Surat An-Nūr: 30) – also advises women to protect themselves. Notice the two verses below:

1-       “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments.” (Surat Al-’Aĥzāb: 59)

2-      “And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands and other legitimate insiders. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment.” (Surat An-Nūr: 31)

With regard to the necessity of hijab, The Qur’an also says “That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”.‌ (Surat Al-’Aĥzāb: 59)

Always seek knowledge

Always be interested in learning and gaining knowledge, because “Allah will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by degrees. And Allah is acquainted with what you do.”‌ (Surat Al-Mujādila: 11)

Furthermore remember the advice of the Prophet of Allah (PBUH), the city of knowledge, who said:

• “Four things are what every smart and wise person must be loyal to: Receiving knowledge, preserving it, spreading it, and putting it into practice.”
• The Prophet (PBUH) also said: “The Ansar women are good women. Shyness does not impede them from obtaining knowledge about religion.”

And this can be seen reinforced by Imam Ali (A.S), the gate of this city (of knowledge), who said:

•  “O people! Remember that the excellence of your faith lies in acquiring knowledge and acting upon it. It is more essential for you to crave for knowledge than for riches”.

Be thankful toward your parents

“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.” (Surat Al-’Isrā’: 23)

A tradition from the Prophet (PHUB): Someone asked the Prophet about the best deed. He answered: “First performing the Salat at an early time and then comes doing favours towards parents.”

And most importantly, be thankful towards your parents. Do not hesitate to do favours towards your parents, as well as being humble and modest to them. Lucky is the one who does a favour to her parents.

1-       As for your father, know he is your root and you are his branch. Whenever you see anything in yourself which pleases you, you should know that your father is the root of its blessing upon you. So praise Allah and thank Him in recognition of that.  (Imam Ali ibn Hussein, A divine perspective on rights)

2-      As for your mother, what more can we say other than that “Heaven is under the mothers’ feet” (Prophet of Allah).

How can we act upon this? Someone came to Prophet Muhammad (PHUB) and asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. Then your mother. Then your mother. ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father.

And you daughters of the Prophet! Value the message of the Prophet and always remember that “the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.” (Surat Al-Ĥujurāt: 13)

Source: Islamic Centre of England 

The Marriage of Imam Ali (as) and Sayyida Fatimah (sa)

 

لولميخلق علىٌّ لم يكن لفاطمةكفوا

“In the event that Ali would not have been created, there would have been no one worthy to be Fatimah’s (s.a..) spouse.”[23]ٌ

A Marriage Made in Heaven

The extraordinary virtues of Fatimah on one side, and on the other side, her blood relations with the Prophet (S) and still on another side, the nobility of her family, caused many of the high – ranking supporters of the Prophet (S) to propose to her; but all heard negative answers.

The interesting point here being that the Prophet (S) would usually answer them, saying:

أمرها الى ربِّها

“Her matter is in the hands of her Lord.”

The strangest case was the proposal of “Abdul Rahman Ibn Awf”, that rich man who, by the customs of Age of Ignorance, looked at everything through the material viewing window, visualizing a heavy dowry as the sign of a woman’s personal status and the superior position of the husband.

He came to see the Prophet (S), saying:

“If you will give Fatimah to me in marriage, I will make her a dower of one hundred camels with loads of precious material from Egypt along with 10000 Dinars in gold!”

The Prophet (S) was so enraged by this meaningless proposal that he took a handful of gravel and threw it towards Abdul Rahman and said:

“You thought that I was a servant of money and wealth that you are expressing pride in your money and wealth.” [24]

Yes, in Fatimah’s marriage proposal, Islamic examples must be defined, the customs of ignorance suppressed, and the standards of Islamic values made clear.

The people were speaking of these very things when suddenly everywhere it was heard that the Prophet (s.w.a) wished to give his only daughter to Ali ibn Abi Talib (a.s.) in marriage. Ali ibn Talib (a.s.) who was in accessed to worldly wealth and possessions, and possessed none of the standards of the Age of Ignorance, but was instead from head to toe full of faith and real Islamic values.

When they investigated this, it became clear that the indicator I guide of the Prophet (S) in this blessed historical marriage was a heavenly revelation, because he said himself:

(صلى الله عليه وآله)قال:أتاني ملك فقال يا محمد ان الله يقرئك السلام و يقول لك: إنى قد زوجت فاطمة ابنتك من عليٍّ ابن أبى طالب في الملأ الاعلى، فزوجها منه في الأرض

“An Angel of God came to me and said; God sends you greetings and says that in heaven I have made Fatimah the wife of Ali ibn Abi Talib. You also marry her to Ali on earth.”[25]

When Ali (a.s.) came for his marriage proposal of Fatimah (s.a.), his face was red with shyness. When the Prophet (S) saw him, he became cheerful and smiling saying, for what have you come to me?

But Ali (a.s.), because of the imposing presence of the Prophet (S), could not put forth his wish, and as such remained silent.

The Prophet (S), who was informed of Ali’s inner self, said:

لعلك جئت تخطب فاطمة؟

“Maybe you have come for marriage proposal of Fatimah?”

فقال علي(عليه السلام): نعم

He replied:

“Yes, I have come for that very purpose.”

فقال الرسول(صلى الله عليه وآله): يا علي! لقد سبقك آخرون خطبتها مني، و اني كلما عرضت الامر عليها لم تظهر موافقتها، دعني أحدّثها في شأنك

The Prophet said:

“Ali before you, other Men had come for proposal of Fatimah. Whenever I informed Fatimah of this matter, she would not show her approval. Right now, let me inform her of this conversation.”

It is true that the marriage was heavenly and must take place. But especially, the personal status of Fatimah (s.a.) and, generally, the respect and freedom of women in choosing their husbands, made it necessary that the Prophet of Islam should not go ahead in this matter without the consent of Fatimah.

When the Prophet described the virtues of Ali (a.s.) for his daughter saying:

“I wish to make you the wife of the best of God’s creation. What is your opinion?”

Fatimah, who was submerged in shyness and modesty, lowered her head saying nothing and making no denial.

The Prophet (S) raised his head and spoke this historical sentence, which is a document for Islamic Jurisprudents in relation to the Marriage of previously unmarried girls:

الله أكبر! سكوتها اقرارها

“God is the Greatest. Her silence is the proof of her agreement.”

 

And, following these events, the marriage contract was concluded by the Holy Prophet (S).

 

Fatimah’s Dowry

Now let us see what Fatimah’s (s.a.) dowry consisted of.

It is without doubt that the marriage of the best of the men in the world with the princess of the world’s women, must in every way be an example, an example for all centuries and ages. Therefore the Prophet (S) turned to Ali (a.s.) saying:

“Do you have something to stipulate as your wife’s dowry?”

He replied:

“May my parents be your sacrifice, as you well know, my belongings consist of nothing more than my sword, armour, and a camel.”

The Prophet (S) said:

“That is right. Your sword is needed during battles with the enemies of Islam.

And you must water your palm orchards with your camel, and also use it on Journeys. Therefore, you may only stipulate your armour as your wife’s dowry, and I give in may daughter Fatimah (s.a.) to you against this very armour.” [26]

 

This is one side of the story, but, on the other side, we read in hadiths that Fatimah (s.a.) asked her father to make her dowry an intercession for the wrongdoers of the nation on the Resurrection Day. This request was granted and Gabriel revealed this command to the Prophet (S) from Heaven.[27]

This is how incorrect values must be broken and replaced with pure values. And this is the custom of faithful men and women. And this is the way of life for the true leaders of God’s servants.

 

Fatimah’s Trousseau

In all times, dowry, trousseau and the wedding ceremony were the three difficulties placed before families in the matters of life, with the traces of its rain of adversity remaining with the couple until the end of their lives.

Sometimes verbal deputes and quarrels, and sometimes bloody fights were created as a result of these matters. And what wealth has been wasted because of our imitation of one another and tasteless, childish rivalry.

Still, even now, the sediments of these ignorant thoughts are not few in those who speak of Islam.

But, the trousseau of the Lady of Islam must, just as her dowry, be a model for all.

This might surprise you but, the Prophet (S) ordered that Ali’s armour be sold and the money brought to him, which amounted to about 500 Dirhams.

The Prophet divided this money into three parts. one part he gave to Bilal to buy a nice scented perfume. And the other two parts were put aside for buying clothes and household goods.

It is clear how simple and cheap these goods must have been, to have been bought with such an insignificant amount of money.

In historical records, it has been recorded that the trousseau bought with this money consisted of 18 pieces, of which the most important are listed below;

1 large scarf for 4 Dirhams.

1 piece of dress material for 1 Dirham.

1 bed made of wood and palm leaves.

4 Pillows of sheep skin filled with a sweet smelling grass called “Azkhar”

1 woollen curtain.

1 mat

1 hand mill

1 Leather water-skin

1 Copper wash-tub

1 Large container for milking

1 Large Green-colored earthen pot (pitcher) and so on.

 

This was the trousseau of the Lady of the world’s women.

 

The Wedding Ceremony

The honourable Prophet of Islam (s.w.a.), in this ceremony, which was for the establishment of a family, and by which an important part of Islam’s history was changed, and of which the pure successors of the Prophet (S) would all come into existence; executed such a program that his enemies became angered and his friends made proud! Also causing those who were distant to Ponder upon it.

“Umm Salamah” and “Umm Aiman”, who were two virtuous women of Islam, and had great affection for the great Lady Fatimah Zahra (s.a.), came to the Prophet of Islam Saying:

“O’ honourable Prophet of God! Indeed, if Khadijah were alive she would really be happy with the convening of Fatimah’s wedding ceremony, Isn’t that so?”

Tears came into the eyes of the Messenger of God (s.w.a.) upon hearing the name of that devoted Lady, and he began remembering all of the Kindness and generosity of Khadijah, saying:

“Where can a woman be found like Khadijah?

Those days when all of the people denied me, she confirmed me, placing all of her wealth and life in my hands for spreading of God’s religion. She was the very Lady whom God ordered me to inform that an emerald castle will be granted to her in the exalted Heavens.

Umm Salamah, when she heard this, saw the inner revolution and burning of the Prophet and said:

“O’ Messenger of God! My parents be your sacrifice! Whatever you say about Khadijah is the truth; but at any rate, she welcomed God’s invitation and has rushed to the vicinity of His Mercy. Hopefully, God will house her in the best place in Heaven.

But, the matter for which we have come to your blessed presence is something else, and that being this: your brother and cousin, Ali, wishes you to permit him to take his wife Fatimah to his home, and in this way bring order to his life.”

The Prophet (S) said:

“Why didn’t Ali (a.s.) bring this proposal to me him-self?”

Umm Salamah replied: “Shyness and modesty prevented him.”

Here, the Prophet (S) told Umm Aiman:

“Go and tell him to come here.”

Ali (a.s.) came and sat before the Prophet (S) but his head was lowered out of shyness.

The Prophet (S) said:

“Do you wish to take your wife home?”

Ali, while his head was still lowered, said:

“Yes, may my parents be your sacrifice.”

What is interesting is that, contrary to what is usual among those people who worship opulence and who begging planning months ahead of this ceremony, the Prophet (S) happily said:

“I will arrange for it either tonight or tomorrow night.”

And right then he gave the orders to arrange for the preparation of a very simple celebration that was full of spirituality and holiness.

As for the formalities of this Heavenly celebration, and its ceremonies, it was conducted so simply and without trouble, that hearing it, is quite astonishing for us these days.

Ali (a.s.) said:

A bit of the money from the armour I had sold previously had been given to “Umm Salamah” for safekeeping and during the nuptial ceremony he took 10 Dirhams from her and gave it to me saying: “Buy some Oil, dates, and Kashk with this money. I did this. Then the Prophet (S) himself rolled up his sleeves and mixed these things together with his own hands preparing a meal, serving the people with this very food.

ثمَّ قال يا علي ادعُ من أحببت، فخرجت الى المسجد و أصحاب رسول الله متوافرون، فقلت: أجيبوا رسول الله، فقاموا جميعاً و أقبلوا نحو النبي، فأخبرته بأن القوم كثير، فجلل السفرة بمنديل، و قال: ادخل عليَّ عشرة بعد عشرة، ففعلت و جعلوا يأكلون يخرجون و لاينقص الطعام، حتى لقد أكل من ذلك الحيس سبع مائة رجل و امرأة ببركة النبى

Then he (the Prophet) said “Oh Ali invite whomever you wish”. I left for the mosque where many companions of the Prophet were gathering. I said answer to the prophet’s call. They arose and headed together towards the Prophet. I told the prophet they were a large crowd; he covered the food with a sheet and said: “show them in, ten at a time”, and so I did. The people kept going in, eating and leaving, all the while the food seemed unabated. In all seven hundred men and women ate from that (date and yogurt) dish with the Prophet’s blessing.

It is interesting here that, at the end of the ceremony, when all of the people had returned to their homes and the house became empty, the prophet of Islam placed Fatimah (s.a.) on his left side and Ali (a.s.) on his right, and wished them good luck by spraying a bit of sacred saliva from his mouth on both Fatimah and Ali, Praying for them, saying:

طهركما الله و طهر نسلكما أنا سلم لمن سالمكما و حرب لمن حاربكما، أستودعكما الله و استخلفه عليكم

“God! They are of me and I am of them. O lord! Just as you removed every kind of filth and impurity from me, also remove it from them making them Pure.” And then he said:

“Get up and go home. May God bless both of you.”[28]

The lovers of the material world and the weak believers who are under the influence of material world’s sparkle, who see a family’s respect, honour, and status, and the blessings and grandeur of the wedding ceremony in those back -breaking, oppressive formalities and luxurious articles, should see this and learn a lesson. They should see and get inspiration from this program that is a lesson in humanity and is the substance of the happiness of all boys and girls. And, see an example of Islamic teachings in a living, working way in the events of the “Proposal”, “Dower”, “Trousseau” and “Wedding” of Fatimah Zahra (s.a.) in the pages of history.

Notes:

[23]كنوز الحقائق، ص124  “KanzuI -Haqaeq”pg. 124

[24]“Tezkerat-ul-Khawas” – pg. 306

[25] ذخائر العقبى، ص31“Thaka’er-Al-Uqba” pg. 31

[26]Ihqaqul-Haq vol. 10 pg. 358

[27]Akhbaru-Dowal pg. 88

[28] بحار الانوار، ج43، «تاريخ الزهراء» ص 131-132 Bihar Alanwar vol. 43 “History of AzZahra” pg. 131-132

 

Source: Excerpt taken from “The world’s most outstanding Lady: Fatima az-Zahra” by Ayatullah Makarem Shirazi

Islam akan tetap menang dengan atau tanpa kontribusi dan peran serta kita

Samir MusaSenin, 9 Sya’ban 1434 H / 17 Juni 2013 23:39

Ilustrasi

“Islam akan tetap menang, dengan atau tanpa (kontribusi) dari kalian, namun kalian tanpa Islam, pasti akan rugi dan hilang tanpa bekas”

 – Syaikh Ahmad Deedat rahimahullah

– See more at: http://www.arrahmah.com/quote/islam-akan-tetap-menang-dengan-atau-tanpa-kontribusi-dan-peran-serta-kita#sthash.SQpkgK5u.dpuf

Wantimpres Minta Islah di Sampang Disosialisasikan

Menurut Kantor Berita ABNA, Perdamaian atau islah oleh para pihak yang bertikai di Sampang, Madura, Jawa Timur, diharapkan bisa disosialisasikan kepada semua pihak terkait, terutama jajaran pemerintah. Dengan sosialisasi, semua pihak dapat yakin bahwa islah memang sudah terjadi dan dapat ditindaklanjuti.

 Harapan itu disampaikan anggota Dewan Pertimbangan Presiden bidang Hukum dan HAM, Albert Hasibuan, seusai menerima para perwakilan warga Sampang di Kantor Wantimpres, Jakarta, Kamis (3/10/2013).

Perwakilan warga yang hadir di antaranya Nur Tamam, Ketua Lembaga Persatuan Umat Islam (LPUI), dan kiai setempat KH Syuaibi. Didampingi Yayasan Lembaga Bantuan Hukum Universalia (YLBHU), mereka datang untuk menjelaskan proses islah yang terjadi pada 23 September lalu.

Dari penjelasan tersebut, Albert yakin islah sudah terjadi tanpa ada rekayasa. Setelah itu, perlu diyakinkan juga semua pihak yang masih ragu atas islah. “Saya anjurkan untuk berbicara kepada Pemprov Jatim dan Pemda Sampang agar semua mendukung usaha kita sehingga semua pengungsi bisa pulang, membangun rumah, dan sebagainya,” kata Albert.

Nur Tamam mengatakan, islah yang sudah terjadi merupakan kesepakatan bersama setelah dilakukan dengan berbagai cara, salah satunya silaturahim. Islah, kata dia, ditandatangani oleh 75 orang yang mewakili warga dan 35 orang dari kelompok Syiah.

Hanya, kata dia, pihaknya perlu bantuan dari semua pihak, terutama pemerintah pusat, untuk menindaklanjuti islah. Pemerintah diminta membantu untuk meyakinkan pihak-pihak yang masih mempermasalahkan islah.

Syuaibi mengatakan, jika pihaknya tidak didukung, terutama oleh pemerintah, maka situasi itu akan dimanfaatkan oleh pihak-pihak yang tidak ingin ada perdamaian untuk kembali memecah belah warga.

“Mudah-mudahan pemerintah bisa membantu, bagaimana kita bisa bergerak dan tidak memberi peluang kepada pemecah belah. Tantangan kita ke depan menghadapi pemutarbalikan fakta. Kita dianggap tidak benar-benar islah,” kata dia.

Albert menambahkan, ia akan segera mengirimkan surat kepada Presiden Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono untuk memberi pertimbangan supaya pemerintah menindaklanjuti islah. “Saya hanya harapkan kedamaian di Sampang,” pungkas Albert.

Pemkab Sampang Menolak Upaya Damai Warga

Senin tanggal 23 september 2013, pengungsian warga Muslim Syiah di Rusun Jemundo Sidoarjo Jawa Timur mendadak ramai. Pasalnya 50 orang warga Sampang, Kecamatan Omben, Desa Bluuran dan Karanggayam datang dengan semangat perdamaian. Mereka datang dengan membawa lembaran kertas yang diketik dengan rapi berisikan Piagam Perdamaian. Sebuah langkah mulia dan suci berlatar kesadaran tentang cinta kasih antar sesama anak manusia yang menganut agama yang sama, Islam.

Kunjungan silaturahmi yang sebelumnya sudah didahului dengan kunjungan-kunjungan terbatas oleh beberapa tokoh masyarakat dan agama, mengantarkan mereka pada kesimpulan bahwa kebencian, angkara murka, dendam dan sifat buruk lainnya yang mengakari pertikaian setahun yang lalu, 26 Agustus 2012, sesungguhnya bertentangan dengan ajaran agama Islam dan nilai-nilai luhur bangsa Indonesia yang menghargai dan menjunjung tinggi toleransi.

Adalah Saningwar, seorang tokoh mantan Blater yang pernah merajai dunia hitam di seantero Madura yang menjadi penggerak utama dalam menggalang warga masyarakat untuk berdamai. Saningwar dalam penuturannya yang santun berkata, “Sudah saatnya kebencian, dendam dan angkara murka di antara sesama anak manusia diakhiri, agar negeri tercinta Indonesia yang merupakan bumi Allah Swt ditinggali manusia dalam kedamaian. Itulah amal yang paling baik sebagai muslim yang menjadi khalifah Allah.”

Saningwar datang dengan membawa 50 orang perwakilan warga Desa Bluuran, Karanggayam, Panden dan daerah sekitarnya dengan Piagam Perdamaian yang sudah terbubuhi tanda tangan 73 orang tokoh/warga masyarakat tersebut. Hari itu, suasana pengungsian yang selama ini terlihat lesuh dan suntuk karena gambaran tentang nasib mereka para pengungsi  yang tak kunjung kelihatan, tiba-tiba diliputi rasa haru. Secercah harapan mulai terlihat di wajah-wajah mereka. Terlihat betapa kerinduan akan kampung halaman yang damai dan bersahaja nampak di pelupuk mata mereka yang basah oleh airmata gembira.

Ketika harapan para pengungsi untuk segera kembali ke rumah-rumah mereka mulai terbuka, tiba-tiba ada suara sinis yang datang dari aparat Pemda Kab. Sampang yang terkesan menolak upaya mulia warganya untuk membangun perdamaian dan rekonsiliasi. Alih-alih mendukung upaya mulia tersebut, justru segera membangun tembok penolakan dengan menggerakkan sejumlah tokoh intoleran dengan mengintimidasi sejumlah warga yang terlibat dalam piagam perjanjian damai tersebut.

Perilaku aparat dan pejabat Pemda Sampang ini menunjukkan dua hal; pertama, bahwa mereka tidak siap menerima proses rekonsiliasi damai, dan itu adalah bentuk arogansi dan penentangan terhadap ajaran agama dan nilai-nilai luhur masyarakat Madura yang cinta damai. Kedua, aparat tersebut jelas-jelas menentang kehendak konstitusi Negara yang menghargai kebhinnekaan dan toleransi serta instruksi Presiden Republik Indonesia untuk rekonsiliasi dan pemulangan warga Muslim Syiah ke kampung halaman sebelum akhir tahun ini.

Oleh karena itu, DPP Ahlulbait Indonesia mendesak kepada Presiden Republik Indonesia agar menindak dan menertibkan perilaku buruk aparatnya (pejabat pemkab dan aparat kepolisian) yang telah melakukan, memfasilitasi upaya intimidasi tersebut. Membiarkan tindakan mereka sama dengan membenarkan tindakan semena-mena Negara terhadap hak-hak sipil warganya.

REVERBERATION OF “FEARLESS” THE UNDERGROUND MUSIC FROM CIMAHI BANDUNG

Jilbab: Dari “Haram” hingga Mode Pakaian

Kamis, 28 Zulqaidah 1434 H /  3 Oktober 2013 04:54

 

Ilustrasi

Muslimahzone.com – Barangkali banyak muslimah yang sekarang tidak tahu bahwa pada tahun 1970-1980an, jilbab pernah menjadi sesuatu yang haram keberadaannya di ruang publik, terutama di sekolah-sekolah. Pemerintah Orde Baru pernah mengeluarkan Surat Keputusan (SK) 052/C/Kep/D/82 yang mengatur bentuk dan pemakaian seragam bagi siswa di sekolah-sekolah negeri. Sebelum keluarnya SK tersebut, peraturan seragam sekolah ditetapkan oleh masing-masing sekolah negeri secara terpisah. Dengan adanya SK tersebut, maka peraturan seragam sekolah menjadi bersifat nasional dan diatur langsung oleh Departemen P & K (Departemen Pendidikan dan Kebudayaan).

SK tersebut dapat dikatakan tidak mengakomodir kemungkinan untuk menggunakan seragam sekolah dalam bentuk lain sehingga berbenturan dengan keinginan beberapa siswi di sekolah-sekolah negeri yang ingin mengenakan jilbab. Pasca keluarnya SK tersebut, banyak siswi-siswi berjilbab yang memperoleh teguran, pelarangan, dan tekanan dari pihak sekolah. Siswi yang bersikeras untuk tetap mengenakan jilbab di lingkungan sekolah, pada akhirnya dikeluarkan dari sekolah negeri tempat mereka belajar dan pindah ke sekolah swasta.

Kasus jilbab yang pertama sejak keluarnya SK 052 adalah tekanan guru olah raga SMAN 3 Bandung terhadap delapan siswinya agar mereka melepaskan kerudung. Sejak itu, kasus-kasus jilbab di berbagai sekolah negeri lainnya segera bermunculan. Semakin lama semakin banyak siswi yang mengalami konflik dengan sekolah karena jilbab yang dikenakannya. Hal ini menimbulkan reaksi dari beberapa ormas Islam, terutama Pelajar Islam Indonesia (PII), Dewan Dakwah Islamiyah Indonesia (DDII), dan Majelis Ulama Indonesia (MUI). MUI mewakili lembaga-lembaga Islam lainnya, melakukan advokasi kepada Departemen P&K agar bersedia meninjau ulang kebijakan departemennya mengenai peraturan seragam sekolah tersebut.

Pada kurun waktu 1984/1985, Serial Media Dakwah menyebutkan bahwa 300 pelajar putri sekolah menengah negeri di berbagai kota seperti Jakarta, Bandung, Solo, Yogyakarta, Cirebon, Pekalongan, Surabaya, dan Sumenep, terpaksa pindah sekolah karena masalah kerudung ini. Hanya di Sumatera Barat dan Aceh jilbab tetap diperkenankan. Pada tahun 1988-1991, kasus jilbab juga mulai masuk ke ranah pengadilan, di antaranya SMA N 1 Bogor dan SMA N 68 Jakarta.[1] Kasus jilbab ini menarik perhatian berbagai media massa, di antaranya majalah Panji Masyarakat, Serial Media Dakwah, Editor, Tempo, Hai, Harian Terbit, Jayakarta, Pelita, Kompas, dan Pos Kota. Media-media massa ini menampilkan komentar masyarakat dan tokoh yang umumnya menyatakan keprihatinan mereka terhadap kasus yang menimpa siswi-siswi berjilbab di sekolah-sekolah negeri.

Bersamaan dengan memanasnya konflik jilbab di sekolah-sekolah negeri, kasus jilbab juga ikut merembet ke wilayah-wilayah lain. Di Tegal, sempat terjadi kasus penelanjangan gadis berjilbab oleh petugas keamanan sebuah toserba karena gadis tersebut dicurigai mencuri permen seharga Rp 160,00. Yang lebih ramai lagi adalah kabar tentang wanita berjilbab menebarkan racun di pasar-pasar. Isu ini sempat menyebabkan seorang ibu berjilbab nyaris meninggal dunia akibat dihakimi massa karena ia diteriaki sebagai penebar racun.

Akhirnya, pada tanggal 16 Februari 1991, SK seragam sekolah yang baru, yaitu SK 100/C/Kep/D/1991, ditandatangani secara resmi, setelah melalui konsultasi dengan banyak pihak. Hal ini disambut gembira oleh siswi-siswi berjilbab serta masyarakat yang bersimpati pada perjuangan mereka. Pada SK yang baru ini, keinginan para siswi berjilbab sudah diakomodir, lengkap dengan contoh gambar pakaiannya. Meskipun, istilah yang digunakan pada SK tersebut tetap ”seragam khas”, bukan jilbab.

Walaupun kewajiban untuk berjilbab telah tertera dengan sangat jelas dalam Al Qur’an (QS An Nur: 31 dan Al Ahzab: 59), namun kenyataan itulah yang terjadi pada tahun-tahun tersebut. Jilbab menjadi suatu identitas yang diharamkan keberadaannya di ruang publik. Para muslimah yang ingin memakai jilbab harus menghadapi tekanan dari aparat keamanan dan pemerintah. Mereka dituduh menyebarkan aliran sesat, mengikuti golongan tertentu, atau melawan kebijakan pemerintah. Pahitnya keadaan pada masa itu menjadikan para muslimah berjilbab benar-benar teruji kualitas dan militansinya. Muslimah yang masih ragu dengan jilbab atau belum kuat keislamannya, tidak akan berani mengenakan jilbab.

Sesuatu yang telah menjadi jamak seringkali justru diiringi dengan penurunan kualitas. Hal itu terjadi dalam banyak hal. Pendidikan, misalnya. Ketika akses pendidikan masih sulit dan hanya golongan terbatas saja yang bisa mengenyam bangku pendidikan tinggi, sarjana-sarjana yang dihasilkan adalah sarjana yang berkualitas. Namun sekarang, ketika pendidikan tinggi telah terbuka bagi semua kalangan, berkat berbagai beasiswa dan juga semakin banyaknya perguruan tinggi yang lahir, kualitas sarjana yang dihasilkan tampaknya tidak lebih baik daripada dulu. Bahkan, ada kesan justru menurun. Banyak sarjana-sarjana yang melacurkan ilmu demi mencari kesenangan sendiri, tidak peka terhadap kondisi sosial, berpikir pragmatis, dan sebagainya.

Demikian juga kalau melihat dalam sejarah umat Islam. Pada masa-masa awal dakwah Rasulullah Shalallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, hanya sekelompok orang saja yang mengikut ajaran yang dibawa oleh Muhammad. Namun, mereka adalah orang-orang terpilih yang benar-benar komitmen terhadap keislamannya. Mereka berani mempertaruhkan nyawa demi membela Islam. Sementara sekarang, banyak orang yang mengaku beragama Islam tapi keislaman mereka bukannya membuat Islam semakin berjaya. Seperti sabda Rasulullah Shalallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam dalam sebuah hadits, umat Islam banyak tapi banyaknya seperti buih di lautan.

Tak terkecuali dalam hal berjilbab. Pada era 70-80an, muslimah berjilbab karena mereka menyadari perlunya jilbab sebagai penutup aurat. Muslimah yang berjilbab pada masa itu benar-benar mempertaruhkan sekolah, karier, bahkan keselamatannya demi mempertahankan keyakinannya mengenakan jilbab. Sekarang, banyak orang berjilbab tapi melupakan fungsi jilbab yang sebenarnya. Jilbab dikenakan hanya sekedar untuk mengikuti mode. Tak sampai berselang dua dekade sejak izin pemakaian jilbab di sekolah-sekolah dikeluarkan pada tahun 1991, jilbab menjamur di mana-mana. Tren jilbab merebak di kalangan wanita-wanita muda, mulai dari pelajar, karyawan, pegawai negeri, para eksekutif, hingga artis. Model, warna, dan bahan kain jilbab yang dikenakan pun beraneka ragam. Selain itu, gejala yang tak kalah menarik adalah munculnya komunitas-komunitas Hijabers yang beranggotakan para remaja berjilbab.

Masuknya jilbab di ruang-ruang publik merupakan suatu peningkatan yang harus disyukuri. Namun, bersamaan dengan itu, fenomena yang timbul adalah turunnya pemaknaan muslimah terhadap jilbab. Jilbab hanya dipandang sebagai sehelai kain yang dikenakan untuk mengikuti trend fashion, bukan sebagai penutup aurat dan identitas muslimah. Dalam berjilbab, Islam sudah memberikan aturan-aturan, seperti harus menutup dada, tidak boleh ketat, kainnya tidak terawang, dan sebagainya. Ketika sekarang jilbab hanya difungsikan sebagai fashion, banyak ketentuan-ketentuan tersebut yang diabaikan oleh pemakainya. Yang lebih dipikirkan bukan lagi, ‘apakah jilbab ini sudah menutup dada dan tidak transparan’, tetapi ‘apakah jilbab ini serasi dengan baju dan mengikuti model jilbab yang tengah berkembang’. Di sisi lain, orang-orang yang memakai jilbab dengan benar –tapi tidak mengikuti mode- justru dipandang sebelah mata atau diidentikkan dengan golongan tertentu.

Jilbab adalah identitas keislaman seorang muslimah. Jilbab adalah kewajiban bagi seluruh muslimah yang Allah sampaikan dalam Al Qur’an. Jilbab bukan sekedar kain penutup kepala atau perwakilan dari gejala sosiokultural dalam masyarakat. Jilbab juga bukan sekedar objek penelitian antropologi tentang bagaimana suatu masyarakat berbusana. Perkembangan jilbab dari yang semula diharamkan hingga menjadi sesuatu yang lumrah di ruang publik hanya dalam waktu kurang dari dua puluh tahun menarik untuk dicermati. Terlebih, perkembangan ini juga diiringi dengan perubahan makna jilbab, dari yang semula merupakan penutup aurat yang disyariatkan Islam sampai akhirnya menjadi mode fashion. Realita ini tidak bisa dipandang hanya sebagai dinamika sosial semata, tetapi perlu menjadi sebuah perenungan, terutama bagi para muslimah di Indonesia. Bagaimana seharusnya muslimah mengartikan sehelai kain bernama jilbab?

Oleh: Kabul Astuti (Mahasiswi Pascasarjana Program Magister Pemikiran Islam di Universitas Muhammadiyah Surakarta)